Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Angel Fluffy's memorial area..

Fluffy's gorgeous urn arrived this morning. I am VERY satisfied with it, mind you for the price I paid, I should be satisfied. haha.. Fluffy has been placed in his special urn, so he is now in his final resting spot. The only thing that is missing is a beautiful figurine of a white angel cat with wings which will be placed next to his urn. He is sadly missed...

His special candle that is being burned for 16 nights. We are on night 12.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

And so it goes...

Well, it has been a little more than a week since my baby boy joined this friends and family at Rainbow Bridge. For three days straight, I was an emotional basketcase. I was very fortunate to have friends from my hometown visiting me that weekend. I truly believe I owe it to them for maintaining my sanity and saved me from sinking into a depression. The first overnights were Hell and naturally the most difficult time.

After three days, I started feeling like me again, and going back to my usual self. No tears in days, and I have been fully functional for almost a week. This weekend, I spent in my hometown for a retreat weekend with a good friend. It was nice just to get away. She was expecting me to be depressed and teary all weekend, but she was truly amazed at how quickly I picked up my shattered heart (pardon the drama here. HA!)
In all honesty, I am equally as amazed and baffled at how quickly I bounced back. YES, I certainly miss my little man more than words can say, I am still mourning my loss, and I would do anything to have him back, but I am ok. We shared almost 16 wonderful years together, and I am confident that he is in a better place. I couldn't stand to see him suffer, and I know we will meet again someday. He is ok, so I am too. He is in good hands.

I am gradually starting to move things around, etc. His food dishes are empty, cleaned, and litterbox emptied. All the vomit and carpet accidents have been cleaned up, toys and blankets gathered, the rest of his food ready to be donated to the SPCA, etc. I believe this gradual change (rather than putting everything away at once or lack of changes) was a vital process in acceptance.

We are on night 9 of 16 for burning his special candle.

As for my new little baby, I am starting to be extremely anxious to bring her home. I went to visit her tonight, and she is growing up so quickly! She is now 3 weeks old, and VERY well taken care of. I have made a final decision for her name which the breeder accepted and loves. Her full name is Miuccia (Miu Miu) Prada di Saks. Short: Miu Miu Prada or just "Prada", inspired of course by the famous Italian luxury fashion designer! Here are a few pictures of her. What a little gem!!! She has found her way to my heart, and I think my Mr.Fluffy would have adored his little baby sister!!

My little girl, Prada.

Starting to wash her little hands. Just waking up..

They're starting to play and purr now. Here she is playing with her brother after her feeding with her mother!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010


I couldn't help but laugh at this picture.. It is one of the breeder's cats (Tangerine). Check out the face!! hahahah....

My little girl is the cat in the middle. :)

On a slightly different note, I have my baby boy's ashes back.. I haven't received my urn in the mail yet, but I'm anxiously awaiting it so I can finally lay my boy down to rest. The only complaint is that they have his DOB wrong on his certificate of cremation. Grrrrrr..... It feels so nice to have my boy back, even if he is in a different form now. It is still his body, and he is here in spirit. :)

Monday, March 22, 2010

Cat of the day award..

Hi everyone,

Mr. Fluffy used to belong to the Cat Channel website, and after such a long wait, I noticed he finally received the "Cat of the Day Award". We had been waiting so long for it. Unfortunately, it came too late, but all his friends wrote some beautiful things about him. Just thought I would share a few of the most beautiful messages they left. His little girlfriend Ms. Fluffy and best friend Napolean are especially upset.
My Darling Angel Fluffy
Baby Me and Mommy are setting here crying. We are so so sorry to here that you have went to the rainbow bridge.Baby I sure hope that you did not suffer.I love you so much and hope that you will wait on me at the bridge.Because I know that on day we will meet again. You will always be in my heart I love you.You do know that we can still write to each other even if you are at the bridge.Please tell your Mommy that we are here for her if she needs to talk to some one.Well I got to go Mommy is crying so hard she can not see to blog for me. So here is a vote. please remember that I will always Love you. Love your Miss Fluffy forever and always>"<
Angel Fluffy's Family
Angel Fluffy is doing great here,we are taking good care of him for you,be sure to look up in the sky tonight and you will see his bright star shinning down on you,he is letting his family know that he is ok here and will always be watching over you,Angel Gypsy,Bootsie,Rambo
Dear Mr. Fluffy & Family ♥
I am so sorry that you had to go over the Rainbow Bridge, Mr. Fluffy. You are one of the most beautiful kitties I have ever seen and heaven gained a most beautiful angel, when you crossed the bridge.

Dear Mr. Fluffy
You are a lovely angel, Mr. Fluffy. I know your Mama misses you so much, but you will live in a special place in her heart forever. Love and gentle hugs, Gin Gin
Dear Angel Fluffy and Family,
It is with a heavy heart we send our condolences to your family upon hearing the news of your crossing to Rainbow Bridge. You were a special kitty and will always be in the hearts and memories of your family. Our thoughts and purayers are with them during this sad and stressful time. Meows, Purrs, a gentle headbonk, and a vote, Yum Yum and Mom Lynda
Please accept our sympathy...
on the passing of you lovely Mr. Fluffy. He is no longer in pain or suffering and is with his many friends who were waiting for him at the bridge and We just know that he is one of the pretties angels there. Look to the sky and the brightest star shining is his saying he loves you and he is okay. With heartfelt sympathy Purrs from mom Sue and the gang
hello angel fluffy
we are delighted you won your cotd badge..and we are happy your pasing over the bridge has been so easy for you as there were many kitties to welcome you with open arems.we will keep a close eye on him mom and take care of him for you.angel max.
What a beautiful white fluffy kitty
you were! YES, that name was PURRFECT! We are ever so sorry that you had to cross to the Rainbow Bridge. Kittehs should live forever! We send you ANGELFOOD cake to celebrate your special ACOTD. Sending your Mom many, many hugs. The Weezers and Mom Linda
This one especially touched my heart:
Hello, Angel Mr. Fluffy,
Welcome to the Rainbow Bridge. You will be a wonderful addition to our group of angels. We are sorry you had to leave your family and we know how much you are loved and missed. But we hope it will bring comfort to them to know that you are young, healthy and whole, again. By now, you will have received your halo, wings and a star to hang in the heavens for your pawrents to see. They will know that you are watching over them. Now, we are leaving a vote to help you get your ACOTD badge. That will make your star shine even more brightly in the sky.

One day soon, when you've gotten yourself all settled, you can fly down with us as we go and check on all the sick kitties and humans. You can check on your pawrents, too. You can take some angel dust and sprinkle them so they will heal from the grief that they are experiencing.

Your family is in our thoughts and prayers as they go through this most difficult time. We are sending down comforting hugs to them. Take care. Love you!

Lots of angel purrs, prayers, hugs, love and kitty kisses,
Angel Moki and Frosty

PS I'm a white kitty, too, but short haired and I was 15 when I crossed the Bridge last October.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

God never closes a door without opening another...??

Well, I reluctantly decided to visit a recognized breeder of Himmys (Himalayans) and Persians today. I really wasn't sure if I would be ready, but I actually sensed an amazing feeling of peace and refreshment. I know Fluffy was there in spirit to help me along. I enjoyed petting all the sweet cats, and admired the tiny kittens. The breeder and I had a good long chat about my decision to get a kitten so close to the passing of my beloved boy, and we discussed all sorts of things. Initially, I was smitten with a playful little fella, but he is a white male Persian, and I just couldn't do it. I discovered an adorable little female Seal Tortie Point Himalayan with Lynx coat pattern. She is only 2 weeks old at the moment, so there is lots of time before I bring her home (about 8 weeks). I felt that Fluffy would be happy with my selection, and he would be supportive.

Tonight is a different story, and I'm wondering if I made my decision too suddenly because I'm feeling a tremendous sense of guilt. I'm leaning on the idea that I will be more prepared to welcome her in 2 months. Of course, nights are always the worst time for me for missing my precious baby boy, so that may have an impact. Not only do I feel guilty about "replacing Fluffy", but I feel guilty about not feeling the joy and excitement for her as I did with him. Watching her grow will not be as exciting as my little man. How terrible of me!! I'm also feeling a sense of anxiety about her (how long will she live? Will she develop early problems/illnesses? What will she be like? etc.)

In a way, I feel like I'm caught in between a rock and a hard place. Part of me knows that I am unable to go on without an animal in my life. My apartment is way too empty and life is too lonely with nobody. After all, Fluffy was my everything. But another part of me wants her little man back into her life and knows that he will never be able to be compared to another cat. Welcoming my new kitten will not be the same as when I welcomed Fluffy into my life. I don't feel that "instant joy and anxiousness to start our lives together" as I did with him. Is this wrong? Will I feel bitter at times? Anyway, hopefully with time, I will feel differently.

Well, here is the new kitten. She sure is adorable, isn't she? I'm thinking of naming her "Prada".

Baby Prada

My smile is there, but there is still a lot of pain in my eyes.

Prada's beautiful mother, Sparrow

Saturday, March 20, 2010

I dedicate this to my beautiful Angel Fluffy

Fly Away
When will you be home?" she asks
as we watch the planes take off
We both know we have no clear answer
to where my dreams may lead
She's watched me as I crawled and stumbled
As a child, she was my world
And now to let me go, I know she bleeds
and yet she says to me

You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be praying every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away

Autumn leaves fell into spring time and
Silver-painted hair
Daddy called one evening saying
"We need you. Please come back"
When I saw her laying in her bed
Fragile as a child
Pale just like an angel taking flight
I held her as I cried

You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be praying every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away

Friday, March 19, 2010

Angel Fluffy 1994-2010

Sadly, my beloved furry friend and loyal companion has joined his friends and family at Rainbow Bridge. I am certain that brothers Chiko I & II, Friko I & II, and Billabong, Cousin Bailey, Cousin Eddie and Step-brother Toby were all there to greet him. He will certainly be missed by all, and was so kind and loving to everyone he met. For me, he was my everything since I was 13, and I can't even remember the life I had before we met, nor can I imagine my life now that he is gone. We have been through everything together. I fell in love with him the second he walked into my life as a little furball kitten and was still in love with him when he went away.

He had been sick for a little while, and has been suffering very much these past few days and probably longer. I wouldn't know because he was such a strong cat and such a little trooper. Unfortunately I knew from the moment he came home from the vet yesterday that something was terribly wrong, and he went downhill from there. This morning was his time to say goodbye to me. He was in the company of myself and his Auntie Linda who loved him very much, so it's comforting to know that he was surrounded by those he loved. It's also a comfort to know that he will no longer have to suffer. Even at his very worst condition, he refused to let go, but I knew I had to set him free. I couldn't be selfish and put him through more.

I was able to share a very private bonding moment with him before we left. I talked to him about all our interesting moments we shared together and apologized for anything I ever regretted or did to hurt him. I regret not spending more time with him lately and given him more cuddles and petting. My little man deserved more than this world had to offer him. I'm sure he is being crowned King as we speak, and he is enjoying everything Rainbow Bridge has to offer.

I will always, always, and always remember my beloved little guy, and I know we will always be together in spirit. We was my first real pet, and no other animal could EVER replace the love and bonding he and I shared together. He was my life, my everything.

Thank you again to everyone for their kind words, thoughts and prayers during this very difficult time. For those of you who only knew him in cyberworld, you would have fallen in love with him.

Monique xo

The urn I selected for my precious baby boy:

Thursday, March 18, 2010

He's home but still not out of the woods...

Hi everyone,

Mr. Fluffy won't be able to write until he's feeling better I'm afraid. He's home now, but certainly not back to himself. He is very lethargic and uninterested in anything including food. I have a feeling his bum is extremely sore (poor thing). He was also sleeping in his litterbox, which I believe is a sign of stress and illness. I took him and put him in his bed, where he would be more comfortable, and he's been sleeping ever since. I think my little guy just needs to recooperate and take lots of rest. I'll have to keep a close eye on him though, and thankfully I was able to take the day off tomorrow to be with him and of course there's the weekend, so he'll have lots of care.

I don't think he's well enough to return to sharing the bed, so I think I will probably sleep on the couch tonight to be closeby.

Anyway, please continue to hope for a speedy recovery. My baby sure didn't deserve all this trouble. :(

Take care,


As you can see, he's not back to himself yet... it just breaks my heart beyond words to see him this way.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Update on Mr. Fluffy

My baby is still at the hospital until things go better for him. Unfortunately, he has been through a LOT these past few days. He had two enemas which didn't work, so the vet had to remove the impaction manually. Unfortunately, she wasn't able to remove the impaction completely, so he is expected to expell the upper portion himself. Once he does (IF he does), then he can be released.

I went to visit him after my meeting today, and the poor little guy looks like he's been run over by a freight train. He certainly wasn't the alert, wide-eyed little man I'm used to seeing! But he was still very sleepy from his sedation.

I was a little ticked off that they chose to do a dental procedure (plaque removal) without my consent though. Seems to me they could have alerted me that he was due for it and to schedule a more appropriate time once he's feeling better! At the very least, I'm hoping they did it while he was sedated. Another reason I'm not impressed is monetary reasons, naturally! I'm pretty sure I will have to be seated when I receive the vet bill, so any extra non-emergency procedures are things that can certainly wait for my wallet to cool. Needless to say, I will refuse to pay for if. Despite this, the staff at that vet is AWESOME!!

Anyway, my apartment is feeling way too empty right now. I'm not enjoying the empty space on my bed at night, I'm always looking around for him, and I even left the radio on by accident this morning (I leave the radio on for him when I leave for work). India is a small comfort.

I am so thankful for all the good thoughts, vibes and prayers. They are certainly appreciated by Fluffy, India, and me.


Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Sick little guy..

Hello everyone,

Just to note to say that Mr. Fluffy is sick with a fecal impaction and is staying at the hospital for treatments for at least one night. He will need at least one enema (poor thing..) and they want to check his kidneys and bladder among other things because of his age and history of Feline Urological Syndrome.

Fluffy was VERY cooperative and a little trooper while the vet checked him out and emptied his anal glands. Of course, he clung to me like a Garfield caked onto a car window, but I was surprised that he walked right over to the vet when she reached for him. He took to her very well and vice versa which is great. He was also a hit with the staff. I'm sure he's in good care.

I was happy to see that they gave him a dog sized kennel! He'll have lots of room to roam (although I doubt he cares right now..) Leaving him was especially heartbreaking. I asked to see him before I left, and of course he started meowing like crazy when he saw me leaving. *sob* I just hope he can come back home tomorrow because the apartment is so empty without my little man! I already miss him like crazy!!!


Monday, March 8, 2010

Week at Grandma's!

Hello everyone,

Last week was March Break for Mom, so she and I decided to spend the week away at Grandma's. Everyone was so happy to see me, and I had a purrfect time! I miss Grandma so much and I really didn't want to leave to come back. I got sooooo much attention while I was there. It's not that Mom doesn't try to give me the attention I deserve, but she works lots and isn't home during the day. India didn't come along with us on our trip home. Auntie is taking care of him. I just hope she's not spoiling him more than she spoils me!

It was back to school (internship) for Mom this morning. One of the students in her class went to Punta Cana over the break and brought her back a little gift. Mom was truly touched (especially since she's not the classroom teacher) and appreciated the little "beach in a bottle". hehe...

Speaking of, Mom can't believe that there's less than 7 weeks left of her internship. She is more than halfway done! Unfortunately, she is not getting paid for it, so she is anxious to finish so she can go back to supply teaching. She also misses the students she usually teaches and will be very glad to see them again! She will certainly dearly miss a lot of the students she has now though.

Anyway, time for bed for both of us. Pictures another time. :)